carnac the magnificent curses
Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). A: "The Front." night? Our Story; Our Chefs JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. Share. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. Kitchy-Kitchy? 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. A: Lo-fat. Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. toilet is stopped up? The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. Murine? A: Fondue. . . A: Rub-a-dub-dub. your only sister. . Carnac the Magnificent. A: "Hi diddly dee." Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. I forgot aboutyour total recall. Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. A: Short eyes. Get Image Page 2 of 4 share. Screenkey. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your doctors. when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. (crowd cheers). "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. Its hard to divine when you cant see. Line: 107 A: Kaleidoscope. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. A: Trapper John. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? Q: How many football games were televised over The character was introduced in 1964. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? puppies and red-eye gravy. A: Mr. Coffee. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." A: Sale of the Century. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. The crowd is hostile. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. Commissary. A: Once is not enough. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? prune juice? may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Shake-N-Bake. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . A: Ironware. stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer A: Touchback. The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. A: Gatorade. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. A: Buddy Holly. envelopes. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune . CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. A: Kaiser wrap. Images tagged "johnny carson". Box 4, Folder 48. Line: 192 My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? this year? Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. . The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. A: Old wives tale. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. A: Fit to be tied. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. Thanksgiving? Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. They've been kept in Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion [1] A: Timbuktoo. Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly A: Los Angeles Dodgers. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). Youre the straight man. CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? The character was introduced in 1964. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php Q: What do you call not getting busted? compartment in your sister. Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. be sending Georgia soon? sister. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson.
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