12. 40. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Whats with all these questions? "Still alive" is polite. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Ive had worse. 22. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. 18. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Is that a scar on your face? Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. 56. Because if you are, youre doing it right. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. I love you. 1. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! I like being single. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! 3. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." You dont need to say it. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. 7. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Reply. As for me, I cant even afford honey! I'm loved! His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Congratulations, sir. 1. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." Finnish with this conversation! [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. I hope you are at your best too. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Here's another way to respond to your crush. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! So, you changed your mind? *licks lips*. Financially? 2. 11. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. 15. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . 88. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. I dont think youre stupid. 3. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. I was doing great, before you came. How do you think that I am doing? I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. "See, I will finally make you smile.". I'm used to it, anyway. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. 5. (Use a sexy tone). 3. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" However, I dont recall anything about morons. 5. Because they are already taking their time. My grandfather had a ton of these. Then you die. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. Chuck Bass? Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. 83. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? But, whats the likelihood of that happening? The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. 1. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Socioeconomically? Its going great, really! They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. What? Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." I was actually talking to my friend". "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. "You know I can do this anytime.". Sounds like effort to me. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. I'm happy! upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). For your information, Im in a relationship with food. 4. Feeling confident? Happy, and I know it. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. 90. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Im jealous of people who dont know you. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. 2. 8. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. 4. The police? via: Pexels / George Pak. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. 17. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Your hair looks great! Privacy Policy. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. 42. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Still, the ghosters ghost on. 71. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." I always yawn when Im interested. It could always have been worse. 11. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Steven Wright (comedian). Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 39. Oof, gotta hide! Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Well, are you? "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". If you are, then maybe were meant to be! A little bit worse now that youve asked. Getting better with every passing second. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. I really thought you already knew. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. "Yeah, you're three years late. Youre free to go. This does not seem right. You want to make them laugh, not yell. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. No, I'm Finnish. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Your secrets are always safe with me. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Oh, what a long list. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. 74. [*clap your hands*]. Stupidity isnt a crime. Read more about Martin here. No, waitIm actually plural. You were a young man when you last spoke. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. Youre worse. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Do you really care? If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Mentally? You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Liked what you just read? I dont feel that great, but look! Why do you ask? Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. 69. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Because Im awkward and ugly. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Could be better, though. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Now that is pretty f****** funny. Im single by choice. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. How are you? 1. I havent met the right one yet. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Youll go far someday. It's all about confidence. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It's best part of the whole movie. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. 9. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. There is plenty of room. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? 58. I think I am doing alright. Totally fine! All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. This is a good response to throw out there. Opposites attract, right? Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Are those space pants? When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. 10. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. but it's just so blunt and funny. I'm fine. Who knows, they might just do it. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. Yup, I dont share it. "Alright. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. Its too small to be out there all alone. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. 29. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. Boom. Im sorry. 96. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. But Ive also had better. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Thank you Fred. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. This one kills me! 18. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. At minding my own business? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Reply. What could go wrong? Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. 1. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: The music billboard charts got it wrong! If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. A real low-life. 9. Spiritually? 94. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. Better inside than outside. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Dave Barry (author). With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. For more information, please see our The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. 32. It's impossible for things to be perfect. Could be payday. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. 5. 80. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. 78. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. You might just find one. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. What to say when your crush asks how you are? You win the internet. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? Now you can be! Cookie Notice Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. No one loves superheroes. 6. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Hanging by a thread. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. 7. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. 47. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. But half the time, it is a nightmare. You should really come with a warning label. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." 98. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? Mentally? On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. 35. 37. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Dont let your mind wander. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Was that comment meant to offend me? 62. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Oh, well 8. Life is up to something. Funny as phuck. 59. The answer is simple. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Hi! 55. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. 28. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Do you want the short or the detailed version? You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. 67. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." 14. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. Hmmph. 8. 5. Nowadays, potential mates need money. Heart-shattering. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! Im too expensive. 48. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked.

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