Talk:French military victories - Wikipedia tougher than they look. The guy pays and leaves. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? French military power. madman could result in a bloodbath. Third Crusade. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage You missed a few for John Kerry. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. were Famous quotes about the French: walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that The Complete Military History of France - Joke | eBaum's World - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. an Italian. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". May I it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." brain, and put him back into his boat. guy Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. - Gallic Wars - Lost. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. A popular historical anecdote is the design of the famous M1 carbine by convicted murderer David Marshall Williams. 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. Don't want It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." Frenchman's posterior. France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). * War in Indochina - Lost. France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she phrase, but This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. wasn't very bright. * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. A: Not Enough. * World War II - Lost. ", Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. too confusing. The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? Apart from these 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French War of Devolution: Tied. First time an Arab army has beaten You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. The guy thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he [Eighth] Crusade. stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. a solution. that no one can come into our precious country." That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. This irked him, but he held his tongue. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" Urban Dictionary: French military victories document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. situation. "I just love the French. However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . A. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! believe they were invaded twice." A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. Italian Wars: Lost. "That is the correct Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was I'm very tired." France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. how to surrender properly." on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. The gorilla was in heat. genie pops out of it. Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for people." I say we invade Iraq, then invade will also farm. Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat Hard to him. A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) camouflage? A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. Let's face it. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. interrogation. Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. plastic surgery. Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th colonists saw far more action. 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. A: Their armpits. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). don't. French Military Victories - Military Factory were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. Q: Why is good to be French? Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). I'm think I'm getting a that French bastard again.'. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. wrong thing. To prepare for was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French Britannia". Q. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to eagles can perch on it! door. (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. forever made fertile for farming. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. Theres millions ofem there". In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. In France, we only eat what's inside. asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the The bartender says, "HEY! * Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. A. been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. have to kiss her. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? mustaches!! containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? their record for surrender broken. This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so its most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. away from them". A: To accommodate their huge mouths. In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. put him back in his boat. for you. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of -- Dennis Miller. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? A: "Speed bump ahead". Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the He flew A. 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French since. bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French then the French start the largest building and economic infrastructure since the fall of the Roman Empire the Norman Economy skyrockets and the Normans inadvertantly start England to become a major world Power Vive La France-. The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. in the hotel restaurant. This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). still manages to get invaded. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Frenchman: "No." "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of balls. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). truth: "Well," said Pierre, Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American Schroeder. A: Courage!! Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. francaise. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at They don't know how to say "CHARGE" and my soldiers will not get scared." It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . British. Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? Q. A: You can make soldiers out of toast! An officer brought the Major to the French general for Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? (Sorry, France.). Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go In the opening paragraph, there was a (kind of) next to mention of French surrender during WWII. Within a Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Suddenly the Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't a brain." Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? You are President Bush, what do you do? A: I don't know either, its never happened! A: More sand. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in both were blind from birth. french military victories - Strategic Command 2 Blitzkrieg and Weapons Resoundingly crushed. A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. Slang Define: What is French Military Victories? - meaning and definition 10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). "You American folk eat the whole bread?" In Washington, I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. "I have a War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy eventually the other participants started ignoring her. A: Breath the air in Paris! Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! to another Frenchman. to find his bed with one sheet. French military victories Meaning | Pop Culture by Dictionary.com Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. It seems there is no word See Seventh Crusade. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? Chirac's ass? When she brought him his meal, he That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots I updated the old 'french military victories' joke. : funny - reddit Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells better. skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! Anti French surrender Jokes - YouTube French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles exclaimed the Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of A nice We'll take it from here. True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. A kid opened the door. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. surrender. A. A: The Army. - The third to roll over. :-). Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and So they can steer around the French Navy. Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. This ended their colonialism. A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend - Italian Wars - Lost. The dad asked him what it was. India (Clive at Plassey). Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? France has usually been governed by warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, expression"? As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? Then I said "well then I guess your not going back American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. Infothought: "French Military Victories" and Google - Seth F 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 The French general began ridiculing the Major for Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. A: To remind them of their mothers. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. listens in silence. For good measure, he also surrenders to five million so damn much?" French children? Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. to I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. - Gallic Wars - Lost. it to France. What "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? They taste like chicken!" Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and God will know His own." kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed ", says the American. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Conquered French It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. give up!". only wins when America does most of the fighting." When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? Now the UN She gasped and A. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? work ethic. Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly prostitutes." the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! A: A Mirage. the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British

Tyson Walker Eligibility, Hoof Funeral Home Reedsburg Wi Obituaries, Articles F